Success Is About Substance & Style
I refer to the authentic feeling that other people get when you are committed and impassioned by pursuing your actions. This is a personal style that emanates from inside when you feel good about yourself and loves what you are doing.
Sit down and ask yourself, “What is the most important thing to me? What excites me? What makes me most upset? Is this how things should be, or what do we need to change? What could I stand and fight for? Is it women, homelessness, technology?” Whatever it is, find something you are passionate about and find a way to put it into action. You will be driven by meaning and purpose. You will be committed and indestructible. When we see someone like this, their presence is awe-inspiring.
Have A Presence
Many years ago, I attended an event where Michelle Obama gave a speech. She is a great public speaker, but much more came from her words or how she looked, and she stood with pride, determination, commitment, faith, and vigor. Unfortunately, I can’t recall any of the words she said, but her presence is a memory I will never forget.
The way we present ourselves has a significant effect on the outcome of our endeavors. It’s about putting your knowledge, dedication, commitment, and passion into a package and delivering it with your unique style that you feel fantastic about. It’s about putting on an outfit of all your best characteristics, knowledge, and competencies and delivering it with spirit and style. This authentic emotion is what people connect to and are influenced by.
Convince
Be mindful; you cannot fake your convictions as your audience senses them. Perception becomes your reality – If you’re feeling low, chances are your body shows this to the rest of the world. If you judge yourself as never good enough, these feelings will show also. It’s not just about preparing your speech, but preparing your thoughts and feelings is just as important. Look at how your thoughts show in your body language. Slumped shoulders, apologetic facial expressions say you don’t believe in you. Believe in what you do, and your body will follow.
I listened to a radio interview with Paloma Faith. She was surprised when the interviewer announced her concert date at a particular venue. Paloma did not know of the event. The interviewer questioned her lack of knowledge of such a significant event. Paloma laughed and responded, “I suffer from anxiety, so I never know the venue until the day before. I just turn up and sing”. I gained a newfound respect for Paloma Faith on this day. As such a beautiful, successful woman, she revealed her anxieties about performing.
Genuine
A lesson I learned in my 20’s – be transparent with your feelings and thoughts. People do see you more than you think, and you can’t fake it. For example, if you don’t know something, explain you aren’t educated on the matter, but you would like to know how to get more information. You then offset your lack of knowledge with an enthusiastic inquiry.
If you stop trying to please people and try and deliver what they want, you make your persona and delivery more about them than yourself. This is where we go wrong and feel less confident because we don’t feel like we are ourselves. Women are taught to be considerate of others, but did anybody tell you that it doesn’t mean giving up your place and space? Like Paloma, as she feels immense anxiety about other people, stand in your own space and don’t focus on what the other people want; focus on what you are authentically committed to and love doing. Your authentic talent and purpose are what make you great, not pleasing others. Let the others be observers of you doing what you do best.
Conviction
I am not suggesting you turn up without practice but turn up with your purpose and beliefs in what you are committed to at the forefront of your thoughts.
This conviction will convey how you speak, your tone, posture, and how you walk and compose yourself. As a result, you will find yourself resilient, centered, and much bolder when your thoughts are about your convictions.