Fear is the single biggest thing that holds people back from achieving their goals and dreams. We can fear failure, loss, rejection, or be disappointed, getting hurt, or embarrassed. So, we play safe and stay in our comfort zone. We must stop the limiting thoughts that hold us back.
Fear comes from our own thoughts and imagination. FEAR – False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear often comes from what we expect to happen. This is natural, but it is essential to distinguish what is real and what is created. Just because we think these things doesn’t mean it will happen or that it is real.
Mark Twain famously wrote, ‘I had spent my time worrying about things that have never happened.
Fear holds us hostage, but fear is not an action; it is merely a thought that convinces you that something terrible will happen to you if you step outside your comfort zone. You will have many experiences in your life, which you have learned is the action which dissipates the fear and that taking action was never as bad as what you had believed it was.
How to Get Rid of Self-Limiting Beliefs
We cannot be a victim to our fear thoughts. Reflect for a moment and you can stop the limiting thoughts. Think of the great things you have achieved. Did you complete it in your comfort zone or through learning and stepping into the panic zone?
The Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is where many of us operate. It is the most comfortable where we feel safe, but also a place of self-limiting behavior. We don’t grow in this zone because it consists of the skills and competencies we already have.
The Panic Zone
The panic zone is where all our fears reside. Does your goal live in the panic zone? Does he sit there almost like an ancient treasure protected by lethal traps, similar to a scene in an Indiana Jones movie?
Activities in this area are challenging, so we are discouraged from approaching it because our thoughts tell us it is not familiar; we don’t have what it takes. You might be sat in the comfort of your own home feeling panic just with the thought of all the pitfalls.
The Learning Zone: How to Overcome Fear of Failing
The learning zone is the only place you can make progress. We often see a goal as something so far out of our reach within the panic zone. The learning zone means the place where you and your plan will meet on mutual middle ground. As you operate in the learning zone, you will get more comfortable with the current skills, and they’ll start to move into the comfort zone.
As this happens, tasks that were once a part of the panic zone will move into the learning zone, and the cycle will continue. This means you take action and look at your goal, not as a one-stop event, but as a gradually evolving process to take small steps towards each day. You will use your passions and a sense of purpose to fuel you, and each day the goal becomes closer within your line of sight.
Become Aware of the Thoughts Which Hold You Back
To change the way you feel, you need to change your beliefs which stop you from achieving your goal. Consider which thoughts led to your feelings of fear. It isn’t easy to stop thinking about specific thoughts. But once you identify them, it will be easier to resolve them.
List Your Fears
List each of your worries regarding starting your business. Think of everything you are afraid to do. Making these lists can also stop limiting thoughts by facing them.
Restate Each Fear
Restate each fear in a sentence so you can clearly see your thoughts written on paper. As you are doing this, consider the thoughts which come to mind?
I want to…….., but I am scared because I imagine……..
I want to start my own business, but I am scared because I imagine I will lose my money and my house.
I want to achieve this goal, but I am scared because I imagine nobody will like my product and look foolish and lose my sense of worth.
As you do this, notice how the fear builds a picture of a negative outcome and imagines the future.
Flip Your Negative Thoughts into Positives
Let’s look at this last part of the lesson, this being, and turn it into a positive statement.
Instead of: I want to start my own business, but I am scared because I imagine losing my money and house.
Write a positive statement: I want to start my own business, develop my skills, work hard and be financially secure.
Visualizations and Affirmations
It is essential to remember you can’t just stop thinking a thought. A fearful thought needs to be replaced with something because the old ideas will creep back in. Be committed to focusing on the positive.
Visualize your success in detail. If your goal is to start an accountancy firm, visualize your office, customers, and staff. Teach your brain how to think by choosing positive thoughts. Choose to visualize and affirm the reality you want to create, as these are a powerful antidote to fear.
These new thoughts will begin to take hold, and you will find yourself doing things your old thinking would tell you to avoid. Teach your brain to think successfully, and you will find your actions will follow.
Take Control of Your Thinking
Reflect on how your imagination has held you back. Which unique talents and strengths do you have which are shrouded by this imagination? Truthfully, ask yourself, did this thinking keep you safe? Did this old thinking serve you?
Before you go to bed, choose your thoughts whilst you sleep and the next day. Stay away from negative statements such as ‘Don’t be lazy, always use positive words such as ‘Tomorrow; I will be full of energy and focus.’ Just as the emotion of fear can paralyze you, intense positive emotions can empower you and accelerate your journey toward tremendous success.
Managing Risk
Of course, you must consider the risks involved but start small. Break your goal into small manageable pieces, so you aren’t looking at the end goal but incremental targets. So, if you need to run a business but still maintain an income, start it as a small side business to your regular job until you have enough clients to work on it full time.
If you want a promotion at work, try to take on new responsibilities—Master what you need to learn before taking on the next level. This will quell some of your fear of failure providing a safety net. But what is a safety net? It’s simple. This is a backup plan when things don’t go like you think they should. It’s like a ‘plan B’ way of thinking.
Celebrate Success and Daily Wins
To ensure your new thinking takes root, create daily wins, so you can see how far you have come. As the weeks pass, you will start to see progress in yourself – it will manifest from a negative mindset to a positive mindset.
Consider how you have grown as a person and what you have overcome. Because without risk, there is no reward, only the regret for not trying. So don’t delay, open the door of your comfort zone and come out for a while.