Let’s be perfectly honest here; we all have them. Insecurities affect everyone and some more than others. Some are short-term, and some last a lifetime. We grow up with some childhood insecurities, and we develop new ones as adults. Recent research suggests that over 60% of women experience self-doubt over their looks, personality, abilities, and place in this world. This is why you must learn how to deal with your insecurities.
What Are Your Insecurities?
Failure, rejection, perfectionism, and lack of self-confidence are some of the most common causes of insecurities, and they all greatly affect self-esteem. But, of course, they are many more but let’s start by seeing if you recognize these:
- Personal, pessimistic beliefs
- Lifelong negative thoughts
- Uncertainties about ourselves and abilities that hold us back
- Limiting beliefs that stop us from setting higher goals
- Reasons to remain in our comfort zone.
- Excuses to procrastinate
- Believing I am not good enough
- A conviction that it’s better to be safe than sorry and success is not for me
Face Your Fears: How To Get Over Your Insecurities
Our sense of self-esteem suffers when we have insecurities, affecting so many aspects of our lives. You can overcome this by facing your fears which means identifying the causes of your self-doubt and then taking baby steps to control your emotions.
Unfortunately, the more you retain these thoughts and avoid challenging yourself, these limiting beliefs will continue to dominate your thought processes. So, just for one moment, picture what your life could look like without these limiting beliefs and doubts.
Imagine what a different life you could have if you could learn how to overcome insecurities. Without insecurities, you would be a more positive, confident, challenging, motivated, happier, and successful woman.
Challenge Your Fears
Once you have a better sense of your insecurities and their influence on your life, you can begin to deal with them. Remember, not everything you believe about yourself is true. For example, If you believe that you are timid, vulnerable, and do not deserve to be successful, your actions will reflect these limiting beliefs. However, if you make a conscious effort to change how you feel about yourself and tell yourself that you are brave, tough, and confident, you can be. So start by recognizing your negative talk (I can’t, I will fail, etc.) and instead tell yourself that you are as good as anyone else.
Identify Your Mindset
Do you believe your thoughts are the same and never change throughout your life? Of course not. So, deep down, you will believe that you can change the way your mind is set with certain perceived flaws. Your mindset makes all the difference. For example, if you consider people you admire and have achieved the sort of goals you would like to, what was it that enabled them to move forward and be successful? It would be their mindset.
Stick Or Twist
We all have a choice in life. We get to choose what we will be. We can have either a Fixed Mindset, where we will remain plagued by insecurities, or a Growth Mindset that allows us to change, grow, develop, alter our thinking and achieve more in life. This is a great way of thinking about learning how to deal with insecurities about your body. Body shaming is bad enough, so being confident will deflect negative comments.
It works the same way with learning how to deal with insecurities about relationships as well. So, instead of just allowing the destructive thoughts to continue to influence your life adversely, accept that you want to grow and alter your thinking.
Think about your bad habits and what you would like to change. What new habits would you like to develop? Which limiting thoughts need to change? Then, instead of automatically thinking you cannot do something, break it down into small steps to gradually improve your skills and confidence. This is the first process in changing your thought patterns.
Change The Narrative
Suppose there was a new position opening at work that you would like to claim. First, what is the thought which immediately comes to mind? Then, write down all the thoughts and reasons you tell yourself which may stop you from applying?
Not good enough?
Won’t be taken seriously?
Scared of rejection?
Someone else deserves it more?
Other people are better than me?
Will these thoughts help you in your life? Now flip this. Ask yourself which thoughts would increase your chances of success?
I am good at analyzing.
I am a keen listener, and I notice when there are potential problems.
I am calm through adversity.
I am good at teaching others.
Use insecurities as a way to recognize the positive thoughts to have. Use insecurities as a motivation to set yourself small goals: research the role, look at the skills required, talk to colleagues and friends about applying, and ask for feedback and advice.
Research your presentation, voice, and body language until you feel confident about applying. Then tell yourself you have as good a chance of success as anyone and everyone else. Repeat these new thoughts until they stick in your mind. You may fail this time, but trial and error are better than sticking with the old way of thinking.
How To Deal With Your Insecurities, One Step At A Time
Remember that aiming high can seem too challenging and therefore demotivating. However, breaking down big dreams into smaller steps will seem less daunting and more achievable. As you reach the first few steps, your confidence will grow, and your insecurities weaken, leaving you more in control of your emotions.