It’s a sad fact of life that most females, unfortunately, grow up feeling insecure about their physical appearance. Many women have firsthand experience feeling that they don’t fit in because their looks don’t conform to the norm acceptable in the media and within social groups. When you were a kid, people who reacted to you set the foundation for how you grew up perceiving beauty, which has placed great value on appearance and desirability for others.
Unable To Have A Happy Appearance
While it’s natural not always to feel 100% comfortable and secure about your looks, having an issue or an obsession about it can have a detrimental impact on your relationships, career success, wellbeing, and overall happiness in life.
When other people look at you, they see how you see yourself. A woman who lacks self-esteem and body and image confidence subconsciously shows it by her clothes, how she carries herself, and by her self-care. Some women compensate for a lack of confidence by being too meticulous about their appearance. Others focus on hiding or fixing what is perceived as ‘wrong,’ as appearance reflects their only source of value.
Why Am I Not Happy With My Appearance?
Suppose you’ve ever experienced being compared to someone else. In that case, your sister is the pretty one/ your partner’s ex is a model – or have been told that you’re too old, or not good enough for something that you have your heart set on, and you already know that it can destroy your self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence in one fell swoop.
Buying into what’s hot on social media isn’t going to do you any favors either if you’re harboring insecurities over how you look in photographs.
You feel inadequate because you’ve given someone permission to make you feel so. When you don’t believe that you’re attractive or good enough, you get your sense of value from other people’s comments and compliments. Women who don’t feel that they match the beauty standard set in the media often obsess about finding validation elsewhere and abandoning a happy appearance.
It’s possible to alter your self-concept by learning to appreciate and love the little things:
- Make a list of what makes you feel insecure about your appearance. Then, examine why it is that your self-worth relies on the approval of others.
- Consider what you can do to fix these feelings from the inside to boost your self-confidence, when you feel fulfilled, working so hard on your appearance losses importance.
- Write down everything amazing about yourself. Include qualities, personality traits, characteristics, and things that you love about your body. Then, look for ways to bring all of the positives to the forefront of your day.
- Redefine what perfection is to you – if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that you have the potential to be someone’s positive role model. Focusing on what’s inside instead of your outward appearance is the first step towards self-empowerment.
Choosing Positive Role Models
Society has determined that beauty = desirability and most people have accepted that as fact. As a result, how a woman looks has long been more important than who she is. But thankfully, things are changing… There are now more strong female role models in the world than there have ever been.
If you feel pressured to constantly attain the same perfection as the glamorous influencer who would never be seen dead without her makeup on, you’ve chosen an imperfect role model who’s likely to make you feel that you’ll never live up to her standards.
Be more like the iconic Hollywood goddesses of yesteryear…
- Audrey Hepburn (never rated her beauty)
- Marilyn Monroe (despised her size 16 curves, but made the best of them)
- Sophia Loren (was told that her mouth was too broad, her nose was too long, she was too tall and too heavy-set)
…and learn to accept your perceived imperfections. Be happy with how you look.
Be Happy How You Look & Be More Attractive
All humans are imperfect because only love is perfect. When you love someone, it’s impossible to see their physical (and non-physical) flaws because love alters your vision.
It’s not until you love yourself and embrace your imperfections that you’re able to let go of identifying yourself as inadequate. Accepting yourself, warts and all, allows you to embody your wholeness. A woman who has the confidence to embrace her imperfections is a strong, empowered female that people naturally gravitate towards for positive reasons.
- Recognize that you are not your thoughts. Create a positive affirmation to use as a daily reminder. Something like… “I love my uniqueness and differences because they make me feel special.”
- Stop caring about what other people think of you. Dress in clothes that you love to wear, and enjoy activities that make you feel good.
- Quit comparing yourself to other women. Instead, focus your attention on your strengths, accomplishments, and successes. If you need a reminder, write them in Notes on your easily accessible mobile phone.
How To Develop Inner Qualities
You are far more than your outward appearance, so live life happy and be more attractive. Focusing too much attention on the outside will make you continually strive for something that you’ll never achieve, and it’ll make your life miserable.
Every time that you focus attention on your inner qualities – self-confidence, kindness, humility, honesty, and generosity – the inner self grows a little bit brighter and bigger.
- Create a 7-day plan and include one thing every day that makes you feel special for who you are inside.
- Build self-esteem by focusing on self-care habits that make you feel good about yourself.
- Look for three good things every day that you are grateful for.
- Boost your confidence by using your imagination. For example, visualize yourself achieving a personal goal, and spend some time languishing in the positive feeling of accomplishment.
- Work on talent or skill that defines your strength as an individual.
- Reminding yourself of the importance of your contribution to life – by helping others – is a great way to practice humility.
- Make a list of ways to make a difference in your own life and the world while developing the quality of generosity.
- Celebrate what makes you beautiful and unique.
Are You Happy With Your Look?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of what society sees as beautiful. Maybe you’re not happy with how you look, but it’s probably because of the ideals of people you see on their best days. On the other hand, maybe you base yourself on highly photoshopped images of beautiful women. Either way, it’s time to be happy with you and how you look, both on the inside and the outside too.